There are days and even weeks, there are no sales on my website. I know that I need to spend more time there working on the major overhaul that I need to get started on it. Checking my emails for 4 accounts is hard to keep up. I do give the old college try at keeping them down to a few hundred on each. However with Christmas, I got really behind on one of the main ones for my website. Sure enough the next day after I cleaned out a huge amount of all the email accounts, the website had a sale. Then I was gone on and off on the holiday trips and with family. Today, I spent time on some of my organizational skills with cleaning up my email accounts again. Someday, I will get them more under control.

I do pray this customer will be understanding with this delay. I do need to have a system of checking my emails first thing in the morning for any sales. Get my organizational list of priorities. Start tackling the clutter and sometimes overwhelming other things in a better manner and thinking positive thoughts about it all.

I welcome the year 2009, year divine and mine.

With all the holiday pictures I have been taking, my old memory card does not have enough gigabytes. A few years ago when I bought a 1 GB, I thought it would be enough. With the ability to do videos on my camera, I need a memory card that has more than 2 GB. I will have to shop around for one that works with my camera and is a great price.

When I went to the Club Jesus Christmas party, I was given a gift bag that was a paper bag that had been stamped with a custom rubber stamps that said Happy Birthday Jesus. There were small gifts inside each bag. One thing that I received was “The Candy Cane Legend” along with a small candy cane to look at and then eat.

The story is told as follows:

Many years ago, a candy maker wanted to make a candy at Christmas time that would serve as a witness to his Christian faith. He wanted to incorporate several symbols for the birth, ministry and death of Jesus. He began with a stick of pure white hard candy; white to symbolize the Virgin Birth and the sinless nature of Jesus; hard to symbolize the solid rock, the foundation of the Church; firmness to represent the promise of God.

The candymaker made the candy in the form of a “J” to represent the name of Jesus, who came to earth as our Savior. He thought it could also represent the staff of the Good Shepard, with which he reached down into the ditches of the world to lift out the fallen lambs who, like all sheep, have gone astray.

Thinking that the candy was somewhat plain, the candymaker stained it with red stripes. He used three small stripes to show the stripes of the scouring Jesus received, by which we are healed. The large red stripe was for the blood shed by Christ on the cross so that we could have the promise of eternal life.

Unfortunately, the candy became known as a candy cane – a meaningless decoration seen at Christmas time. But the true meaning is still there for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear.

This Christmas was so different than the past 29 years. This one was the first Christmas to wake up to not having children in the house being all excited at opening Christmas presents. It felt so strange not having one of my daughters at home. Now that they both are grown and living on their own or married. It is simply too quiet here in my house.

My recumbent bike was put together and rode it the every first day. Been trying to ride each day to get started on a daily routine of exercise. I feel so much better getting started on my diet and exercise routine.

I had a few disappointments on Christmas. I didn’t receive even a Christmas card from my two brothers and their families nor my oldest daughter. I have always sent cards and gifts to each of them, but I sent a card to both of my brothers this year. My oldest daughter I sent money and gifts. She always seems to have an excuse for the past three years for the very delayed or tardy Christmas card or presents. I have even received something near the end of January. I do get my annual late night call on Christmas night, not Christmas eve. She tells me about all the gifts she and her friends and extended family have exchanged with each other. As I listen to her tell me about all the festivities, I feel very sad inside and quietly start crying. I try hard to not let her hear me cry. She won’t understand the pain I feel in my heart at not being able to see her or hug her or see her face as she opens my presents. She doesn’t understand the pain I feel about her telling me about the gifts and cards she got from other people and also what she got them and I received nothing, not even a card.

She called me today to thank me for my gift. I guess I didn’t want to hear any more excuses as to why she can’t send me anything. I am not trying to be selfish, just tired of being forgotten. I feel like I am the last thing on her mind and not thought of earlier in the day due to her calling between 9:30 up to as late as 11:00 PM at night. I ALWAYS call my Mom on Christmas morning. I never want my Mom to ever feel like she is not loved or forgotten, like I do from my children.

Now that Christmas is over, my youngest daughter is back to her old normal self. She is back to being her usual controlling self. If things don’t go her way, she talks disrespectful to me. I tried doing something nice for her and in return she ended up calling me a not so nice name. Being near deaf and I wear earring aids. Unfortunately one of my earring aids quit working today and also the battery fell down inside the earring aid didn’t help. They are almost 10 years old. I misunderstood something my daughter said because she talks way too fast for me sometimes after asking her repeatedly to slow down her speech when she talks to me and she won’t. However, when someone is disabled and the other person is mean and calls them a retard, I totally dislike that. The mean person shows no respect or compassion for a disabled person. However when someone tried to do something nice for the mean person and it ends up back firing in their face, it makes it hard to trust people. That is what happened to me, I don’t trust a lot of people including family members because of their meanness. Name calling is cruel especially to someone that is disabled or handicap and should not be tolerated anymore.

For the year of 2009, I am making my New Year’s Resolution list:

Lose weight
Exercise more
Take better care of my health
Not tolerate mean people
Not be other people’s doormat
Be kinder to myself
Love myself more

Seems more people are looking for a home business so they can work from home. With the job market being unstable and not knowing whether a person will have employment the next day, I talked to several people I know about this topic. One lady has started an Avon business to supplement her income. She is doing very well. Another lady is doing an internet business of selling online from her website. A man I know runs his business from his home as a consultant. It seems more people are getting laid off from the factories in our area and want a way to supplement their income for their families.

I need to install a new kitchen faucets and sink. The one I have is an old Rockwell double stainless steel sink. However the area where you pour down the drain is corroding, however the rest of sink is in great shape. The faucet I would like is one that is arched high enough to fit a plastic bucket underneath. I would also like one that is has a water filtration to save money on buying bottled water and renting a machine. Hopefully I will get my wish in 2009 to get a new faucet and sink, new carpet and a new vehicle.

Now that Christmas is over and all the sweets are almost out of the house that a family member is eating, I feel I can get started on my diet again. I am really going to give it a try. I know I have to find ways to healthy cooking more. I already started using Canola non stick spray instead of using oil and frying. I am also trying to bake more of my meats too. I need to choice eating more vegetables and also a balance of fruits in my diet. I have a time resisting carbohydrates and simple sugar during the holiday times. My blood sugars have been going up and down too much during the holidays. Now is the time to get serious about my diabetes and losing this excess weight for my health sake.

My youngest daughter is having a continuous acne problem. She wants to try another acne treatment. I am concerned about her scarring her facial skin. She picks at her face after my advising her not to do so. I have also advised her about washing her hands before touching her face. She has a stubborn streak and doesn’t like to listen to Mom. When I was a teenager, my Mom talked to me about taking good care of my face. I did suffer with pimples on my upper arms more than my face. I guess I was lucky in that respect.

My son in law received a nice set of luggage. With the trips back and forth to Cleveland Clinic that he and my daughter have had to take, they definitely needed a nice set. With other pending trips for more testing and eventually have his surgery, the luggage will come in good use. I remember getting my first set when I was 16 years old from my parents; it was a hard case type luggage. I still have it in my basement along with the newer set that my mom bought me in the past 10 years that has wheels on the bottom. I really like being able to wheel my luggage instead of picking it up and lugging it.

Since I moved up North, I have never felt this cold. Having Raynaud’s Phenomenon makes it difficult on my hands, tip of my nose and ears. Not all people diagnosed with Raynaud’s have trouble with their nose and ears, it is usually rare. That is why it is so difficult for me in the winter time. The numbness and pain that I experience is just plain BAD! I don’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Yesterday, we went out of town to our annual Christmas family dinner. The wind was blowing so much and my youngest daughter was driving. I was concerned that she wouldn’t handle her car well with the high wind. After the dinner, she and her husband wanted to take her dad and I over to Oglebay Park. Her husband had never seen the Christmas lights there. So for the second time in a week, I got to see the lights. We got out to go in some gift shops and the wind near blew us over and the freezing wind on our faces was almost too much to bare. When we got home, we checked the TV for the temperature and the weatherman said it was -12 wind chill. I bundled up in flannel PJs and still could feel the wind coming in around the doors to the house. We stuffed folded newspapers around the edges of the doors where the wind was pushing in. This helped very quickly make the house warmer with the heater on.

I woke this morning to a temperature of 4 degrees outside. It is -26 degrees wind chill. My family member had to return to work after a week’s vacation and went out to crank his truck. He ran back in the house shaking from the cold. I made hot coffee for him right away. He said he had never felt it this cold in the 9 years since we moved up here.

The residents in our area talk about the blizzard of 1978 where they were unable to get out of their homes for 5 days. They were snowed in up over their doors. I am glad my house sits up high enough so my doors are not blocked in, in case of a blizzard. I do worry about my heat since it is run by electric instead of gas. If we lost our electricity, we would have no heat and would have to go some place else if we had no other choice. My next door neighbor told me she has an old kerosene heater for “just in case”. Wonder how many years it has been since she has lite it.

Think I am going back to bed and get under my nice warm blankets. Be glad when this Arctic Blast is over, the weatherman is calling for near 60s by this Saturday.